The laugh I just did probably was my evilest laugh yet.
WHO THE FUCK BLENDS ORANGES, MANGOS, AND WHAT LOOKS TO BE SOME KIND OF MELON WITH THEIR FUCKING PEELS STILL ON? WHO THE FUCK BLENDS AN APPLE WITH THE LEAF AND STEM STILL ATTACHED TO SAY NOTHING OF THE CORE (IF THAT IS EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE AN APPLE WTF MOST VAGUE FRUIT EVER). I CALL BULLSHIT ON THIS LAME ATTEMPT TO MAKE ME FEEL SORRY FOR FUCKING FRUIT.
TO SAY NOTHING ABOUT THE KAWAII-ASS PIECE OF TOAST THAT’S JUST SITTING THERE. WHO LEAVES THEIR TOAST IN THE TOASTER THAT LONG? FUCKING NOBODY.
YOU’RE NEXT, TOASTIE. YOU’RE FUCKING NEXT.
My morning smoothies will never be the same
You should read the book that you see someone on the train reading and trying to hide that they’re laughing.
You should read the book that you see someone on the train reading and trying to hide that they’re crying.
You should read the book you find in your grandparents’ house that’s inscribed “To Ray, all my love, Christmas 1949.”
You should read books mentioned in other books.
Over at The Millions, Janet Potter, who has worked in bookstores all over the world for more than a decade, responds to Amazon’s 100 Books to Read in a Lifetime and similar rankings with a beautiful blueprint to the reading life.explore-blog)